Embracing Neurodivergence and the Power of Connection: Unveiling My ADHD Journey

Embarking on a journey of self-discovery, I've unearthed the transformative power of a neurodivergent diagnosis. 

Connection is the thread that binds us, the subtle force that guides us toward fulfillment. Through tales of micro-movements and the celebration of small victories, I uncover the profound impact of genuine connection in our lives. As we travel this path together, it's about more than just shared experiences; it's an exploration of how these threads weave the tapestry of our existence. 

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Listen to my other podcast about connecting with nature and intuition:
Earth Speak with Natalie Ross and Friends

Chapters

• 0:46 Exploring Neurodivergence and Connection
• 16:41 Connection and Micro Movements
• 22:50 Cultivating Connection and Support Through Exploration

Transcript

I've been wondering and ruminating perhaps a bit too much on what to talk about next in this podcast series, because there's so much I want to talk about. And I'm just going to have to accept that it's going to take time, and I'm going to have to go at my pace in my capacity, and I'm not going to figure it all out or get it perfect, as much as I would love to have a nice, clean plan. That's just not going to happen for me right now, so I am sitting down, to say hello, to check in, and to share from the moment of what I'm noticing. 

So much of what's been happening is an awakening for me around neuro divergence, around why I've had certain experiences that I've had my whole life, and why there's things that I'm just never going to, quote, be able to "just do". And I'm coming to terms with that and accepting that, and learning how to advocate for myself, and accommodations in my life, in my relationships, around expectations of me, around my needs. Yeah, it's a lot. And if you are, or know someone who has any sort of divergence, or difference in ability or disability, then you're probably familiar with what it's like, what it's like to navigate and have to research and find out what's going on. What really can I do? What are my options? How do I proceed now that I know this information? 

So I'll stop being cryptic. I was diagnosed with ADHD in early 2023. We're coming up not quite a year, but it was pretty game changing. My husband was diagnosed as a child, but not treated or accommodated, and struggled for many years, and also was diagnosed formally, again, as an adult in 2023. It was actually his process of seeking diagnosis that he was reading about it and he was like, this all sounds like you, Natalie, and I was like, um yes, it does, what the heck. So yeah, now there's been a ripple effect of. . . in my family of people, well, specifically person also seeking and receiving diagnosis and experiencing so much relief and understanding for like, why they are the way they are. 

Yeah, even right now, there's so much I want to say, but I think what I really want to communicate in the moment is just how deeply I feel for myself and for others who are navigating existing in a world that is not built for them, and I've always been navigating this, this is what spurred me to start my first podcast, because I'm highly intuitive, and that led me to inquire into what can intuitive people like us do with our skills and our gifts in a world, not to further perpetuate the machine, but to thrive and persist despite the machine and the system. And that that journey unknowingly led me into many tools and accommodations that have helped and supported these aspects of my brain and nervous system and body that I wasn't yet aware of. But now, you know, that journey brought me to learning about trauma, learning about complex trauma, learning about the nervous system, learning about somatic healing, learning about neuro divergence, and really learning about the massive differences in lived experience of people who have under. . . you know, who have experienced complex trauma, or are neurodivergent or are disabled. And. . .oof, yeah, it only continues to fuel my fire to help create space and share support for people who just don't fit into the norm, don't fit into the typical, who've been othered and who are willing to seek some sort of. . . seek community and connection. Because I think for me, you know, I'm not a mental health specialist, I do have training in somatic experiencing, and I love it, and it's very helpful. But this whole journey, I think what's really struck me the most is how othering, how isolating these differences, and these experiences can be to an individual. You know, growing up, and feeling awkward socially, and being very sensitive to sights, smells, light, sounds, textures, all of these things and being just constantly overwhelmed, and then being told, I'm lazy, or selfish, or I have so much potential, why can't I just dot dot dot . . .oh gosh, there's so many layers upon layers of, of shame and weight and burden that I have been carrying for so much of my life, and that I know many, many other people have been carrying, and especially people who are attracted to the work I've done. Because we are existing in a different frequency of sorts, you know, we're, our senses are tuned differently, our brains are wired differently, whether that's because of complex trauma, or because of neuro divergence, it doesn't matter, our experience in the world is very different than the norm and I, I struggle to even speak of the norm or typical, because nothing is normal or typical in this system that we live in. This system is not normal, or typical, this system does not really, truly serve anyone. So when I speak of that, I do not mean to say that there is actually a norm. I'm really. . .  you know, I want to acknowledge that the system we live in was not built for anyone, much less people who have intense sensitivities, or different wiring or different needs than an able bodied person with a more neurotypical brain. But even that, the labels, you know, I think they're helpful, just for talking about things. But I also want to make sure they're not causing more othering, because really we are all human. And this is what I'm so interested in is like, we are all human, we are all of the Earth, we are all of the elements, we are animals, we are air, we are water, we are soil, we are sun, we are all of these things, we are. And for me, you know, I believe in us being inspirited, and all of the earth and life being and Cosmos being inspirited with more than just the physical things that we are. And my own journeys have taken me to understanding what do humans really need? What do I really need? What really is health. And I started asking this many, many years ago, because I've just not been healthy my whole life. And I've, you know, have experienced more health, which is amazing. And underneath all of that, something that is so crucial and is at the heart of why our system is so broken and so unsupportive of all beings is this need for connection and safety at a deep nervous system level where our society just does not support that. It's just so frustrating to me. This is just. . . okay, I'm rambling. Let me pull my thoughts back for a second because I'm just kind of going. Stick with me here, if you will.

Ah yes. So all of us, as humans, have inherent needs for connection with other beings, whether that's other humans, that's animals, plants, elements, spirits, we are healthy when we are able to be in connection. Or I don't even want to label it as we are healthy, I want to say that being in connection supports more ease and well being in our lived experiences. And that connection is something that happens at a physiological level. It's something that happens unconsciously and automatically in our bodies, when our nervous systems are supported, and feel safe enough to receive and be received. And so, there's so many layers of things that block and divide and fragment our nervous systems' abilities to experience connection. And like this system promotes fragmentation, it promotes division, it promotes conflict, in a destructive and not reparative or regenerative manner. Because conflict isn't inherently destructive or bad, it can lead to great things. But our systems, our society and our, the way that we have been brought up and the way that we've been shown how life is and what we have to do, in the western society, I'm here in the United States of America. The ways that things are run here just do not support our inherent nervous system needs, for safety, for security for connection, it they do not support that much for a quote, "neurotypical" person, much less a neurodivergent person, much less people who are on any end of any spectrum that is further away from the average or the median of of people's experiences. People's wiring, of people's. . . yeah, I think you get it. 

So I guess all this just to say I'm checking in and noticing this and I'm noticing just how frustrating it is and how frustrating it is that humans need connection. Connection supports our well being, connection supports our aliveness, connection supports our body's ability to function in a way that can be nourishing, nourish ourselves, digest well, can repair, can clean out old waste. That's just normal part of our, you know, existence. And so that's, that's, that's why I do the work I do. I seek to help people experience greater possibility of connection, if that's what they would like. And I just want to name that it's, it's very. . . it's not always easy, but it can be really fun. It can be really confronting, it can be really challenging, it can be fun, it can be easy at times, it can be very difficult. But yeah, seeking connection. 

So this connection piece. . . I would like to know, if you have questions about this or rants that you would like to share or. . . I don't know, just stories or objections or pushback or whatever, you know, I'm open to conversation. I'm open to connection. It's why I put myself out there is I want to connect. I'm not putting myself out there just to have a. . . just to have an impact on my income. I'm putting myself out there because, and I'm sharing this and inviting this, because I really, really, really, really believe in and have experienced the power of connection. And despite trauma, despite a system that is built to promote disconnection, despite neuro divergence, despite all these different things that can block or challenge our access to connection at a nervous system level, I've experienced from putting myself out there and just talking genuinely, as myself and with others and sharing my story and hearing other people's stories. That is, in itself, what led me into the depths of understanding and finally experiencing deep connection at the level that I've been seeking my whole life. And this is what I stand for. It's what motivates me, it's what drives me is because I know what's possible. And I know how challenging and difficult it can be, and I know how entangled all the different pressures of living in this society can be with having to do one thing and having to do another thing and having to have this outcome and having to have that outcome and having to push through this or put out, you know, figure this out. When I just want to encourage people and demonstrate how aiming for connection can bring about the side effects of all those other things that we seek or need. And it's not perfect, it's not a given, and it's not like, Oh if you connect, then all this other great stuff will happen. But I think connection is a strong foundation with which one can align one's intentions, and contributions in the world without having to conform completely to the demands of a system that just wants to extract from whatever it can extract from and just wants to deny and block and divide. I think starting with connection can lead one to. . . it's for me, and I offer it to others as that sort of compass, as that sort of orienting to connection that can help one orient to that which they feel called to, can help orient one to what moves them forward and will connect them with the opportunities, the ideas, the capacity, the people, the experiences, the invitations, the collaborations, that can open pathways that are different in nature than what the constructs of our system have told us we have to do or be and can bring us great fulfillment, and can bring us resources, and can allow us to contribute to the world with our unique gifts, and can allow us to function more aligned with what's true for us and what's nourishing and alive in us than simply trying to conform to and appease the system's demands. 

And I say this all as a very privileged person, you know, I'm not, I'm not unaware of that. And yet connection is something I believe everyone can have access to, and create, carve out more and more and more of in their life and see where it takes them. And it doesn't have to take a lot of time or cost a lot or you know, take a lot of energy. Just little little little steps. I think that's where. . . I'm definitely rambling now, but you know what, I wanted to just get on here and break the ice of my own podcast, and just start talking again, and I want to hear what y'all have to say. And I think I'll leave you with this final thought of connection doesn't have to be some big grand sweeping gesture. Moving towards connection can be very micro. It can be very, very small. It can be even just considering the possibility of moving towards connection and noticing what comes up in your body? What kind of sensations arise? Does that feel exciting? Does it feel contracting? Does it feel expansive? Does it feel both? Does it feel like a "Hell No", "Hell Yes", neutral. Just noticing that. That's. . . that is progress. I think that's a huge part of what this podcast is about -  is speaking to the little, little micro moments that are actually really big progress. And speaking to the possibilities that we can move towards that which calls to us, that which we know in our bodies we crave and desire and seek, and we know is not going to be given to us by the system, and that we can create in our lives despite the system, despite the machine. And even moving towards that, in micro ways, is a win. Every little moment of micro movement is a win and every moment of falling, or every moment of quote "failure", or every quote, moment of "setback" is not a failure, it's just part of the journey. I think I just want to talk about that. I just want to normalize something so different than what we've been taught and sold and told and open up that invitation to others to really tune in to those subtle levels, and micro moments, and micro wins and micro connections. Because even noticing, tuning in and thinking about, hmm. . . how does it feel to think about moving towards connection? What do I notice in my body? What sensations are arising? That noticing is in itself cultivating connection with oneself, and that's huge. 

So yeah, if you want to reflect back or share something, or ask a question, or share what came up for you, I'm always open. You can reach out to me through my website, natalie.net. And if you want the support of someone to help you explore these sensations in your body in a very gentle titrated way, you can book a one to one session with me I offer: 30 minutes, 60 minute, hour and a half minute session. . . hour and a half minute [laughs], hour and a half sessions, all on my website. And you can also book a free connection call just to chat with me and see if your body if your nervous system likes hanging out with me in that kind of space, if it feels safe with me and if I can support you, whether that's just in growing your capacity for connection in your life in general, or whether that's related to putting yourself out there in your business and your marketing. I. .. If you feel safe with me and you're curious, then you can go to my website natalie.net and, you know, see about booking a free call or booking a call and working with me. And if not me, I do encourage you to notice who you do feel safe with, and who might you be willing to explore these steps with. I just really, really wishing you the best. Thanks